My boyfriend is one of the most understanding and patient people that I’ve ever known. I always feel unbelievably lucky to be with him. And because of his amazing ways, I always feel like the ball on the “ball and chain”. I know that most of this thinking is all in my head. These thoughts tend to sneak into my mind when I’m anxious.
It’s not feeling like a burden but not feeling like you are offering all that you could. Reality is that I am doing fine, and doing my best.
I always get confused as to which part is my OCD telling me things and which part might be a normal train of thought. I think any thought that is cast into the future is probably my OCD. “What if he gets tired of you and leaves you?” Just seems to have OCD written all over it when it goes on repeat like a record skipping.
I can’t tell if some of my friendships and relationships ended in the past because I didn’t have a grasp on my OCD. How much of my paranoia was a gut feeling and how much was my OCD?
Although, I think everything happens for a reason. If someone wants to be with you, they will be with you and vice versa. I learned to not force something that simply isn’t working, even in friendships.
When I was younger, I thought disclosing my OCD once in the beginning was enough to excuse my possible future weirdness. What I know now, is that it never hurts to bring it up again. Communication is extremely important, especially during bad spells.
“My brain won’t let this thought go, and I know it’s irrational.” This leads to my boyfriend talking me out of the thought. My best friend does something similar, I don’t even think she notices how much she helps me because it feels so natural.
This is an example of a good social support system working well for those with mental illness. It really helps a lot.