I know you might not believe what I’m about to tell you, but it does get easier.
You are confused right now. You’re not sure why you are thinking certain thoughts. You feel lost and you feel like you are failing at living normally. You feel like you are slow at everything, eventually you’ll know why and it will make a world of difference.
I can tell you now, that eventually it will become clearer. That you should do your best, and remember that simply trying your best is enough.
Don’t seek out things unless they make you happy. Learn that it’s okay to say ‘no’. The right people will understand if you don’t want to do certain things. Put yourself first and good things will follow. Just try not to be a jerk about it.
There is much love to be had in the future. You’ll have a great support system. You will also learn how to take care of yourself. And like I said before, doing your best is enough.
You feel alone right now, but know that there are people that have it worse than you. You’ll find a voice one day, and want to reach out to people that are struggling. You’ll be strong enough to do that, and that says a lot about how far you have come.
This journey you are on is very long, probably a lifetime. You are going to conquer it, and find happiness. You are going to learn what it’s like to be loved, and also what it’s like to be alone. You will be strong enough to know you would be okay alone, but also strong enough to invite love in and give an endless amount of love in return.
I don’t want to tell you too much detail about the ‘why’ and the ‘what’. It’s for you to discover, and you discover it and seek help. And again, do your best.